“These commandments that I give to you today are to be upon
your hearts. Impress them on your children.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7
“If it were that important I would have remembered it!” ---
How many times have you said that or been told that?... I am guilty of both-
HOWEVER, after some careful reading, I now know this is a big fat lie! Think
about it, our abundant use of sticky notes, calendars, and electronic
organizers (“Better save that as a reminder in my phone so it goes off and I
don’t forget”,… right???) ---- this all attests to the fact that we function
best with constant reminders. I needed to find something to support my theory
through scripture,… When God first gave instructions to the Israelites, he knew
his people would need daily reminders. The most important information is not
absorbed instantly---- humans need repetition! We as parents need to find ways
to remind children daily of God’s wisdom and love for them. Children need to be
reminded as much as we do. One of the things I want to do with Maddie this
summer is have weekly “Bible Messages”. Each week we will focus on: trust,
courage, faith, wisdom, love, fear, hatred, etc. etc. Not only will that give
Maddie the opportunity to express herself as well as better understand the
changes she is going through with becoming a “big girl” J .
How many of you talk about God
with your children? Is it something that comes easy to you? Do you and your
spouse both have the same views, if not does it cause conflict with how you
raise your children?
Well, as you all know, I am not afraid of the touchy
subjects. This one may be a touchy subject for some. With all the ugly child
abuse stories you hear about these days people are almost too afraid to
discipline their children. To me I can some this up rather quickly,.. 10-15
years ago when you misbehaved after a verbal warning you were spanked with a
belt, correct? … A sting that lasted awhile… a sting that you didn’t want again
for a while.. correct? Now, a woman’s 13
year old gets pregnant and she posts all over her social media pages that she
is going to be a Grandma… hmmm… Kids get arrested or ticketed and somehow its
law enforcements fault? Bottom line,…. It’s your horrible parenting skills! ! !
We have all met people who grew up without discipline—and that neglect is
another form of abuse! Well, neglecting to discipline your child when necessary
is abuse as well. When Eli refused to discipline his children God stepped in.
God approves of us to discipline our children—in fact, God expects us to
lovingly discipline our children. Proper discipline provides a sense of
structure for children, allowing them to feel safe. And giving children
consequences for their actions while they’re young spares them from greater
consequences as adults.
As parents, you need to know the difference between abuse
and discipline. If you are irresponsible there is a fine line. If you are
unable to control certain situations create a chart to keep on your
refrigerator of Level 1 Level 2 Level 3 with consequences for the certain
levels. Children need structure to succeed. You as there parent must provide
that structure or you are FAILING your child! ………………. It is completely
acceptable to SPANK your child’s bottom --- It is not acceptable to punch your
child in the face and black their eyes or break their nose, etc. ---- is it
really that hard to understand?! … I am ashamed of parents who do not have
discipline and I unfortunately see so many children who are very disrespectful
to their parents… but how do you approach the parents and tell them they are
failing their children?!?!? ….. because believe me I have a contact list READY! Slight humor: Should I just call them up and
say, “Hey, it’s Mickayla- just on my way over to spank you children, since they
are the most worst behaved children I have ever seen in ummm… FOREVER! Be there
in a few minutes” (Click!)
What is the goal of discipline?
Do you know someone who grew up without discipline? What makes disciplining
children so difficult? What are ways you discipline your children? Does the way
you were raised effect the way you are raising your children?
“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” 1
Corinthians 11:1
I am no way saying I am “A Model Mom” However------ I plan
to one day be looked at as a “Model Mom” when I am old enough to have that
title… I am definitely still a Rookie at this point! As a mother, you have a unique
position, both as a parent and as a child of God. Moms know what is best for
their children. Our rules are for our children’s own good. We know that our
children will be happier if they learn to obey. In the same way, God, our
heavenly Father, has rules meant for our good, right? Do we obey him the way we
want our children to obey us? Do we trust God the way we want our children to
trust us? Because if we don’t guess who’s watching! Choose to openly obey God
in front of your children! Be the model you want them to follow!
As if that wasn’t enough to get you brain going … ask
yourself this:
What strengths do you want your
children to inherit from you? What weaknesses do you have that you hope they
avoid? What recent choices might you have made differently if you were
conscious that your children had been watching?.....
“Do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in
the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4
As parents, we know we should love our children equally, yet
we do ourselves a disservice if we set out to love our children in the same
exact way. (NOTE THE DIFFERENCE.) Children are individuals with different
wants, needs and interests. The parenting methods that worked with child number
one may completely fail with child number two. (Take my situation for example…
)
It is completely up to the parents to discover how each
child wants to be loved. Resist the urge to love your children in the way you
prefer. Adjust your style to cater to each child. Make sure each one knows he
or she is loved. It is very hard to take time for each child to have “Mommy or
Daddy Time” but it is so very important. I know this personally… All the time
we spent with Emma in the hospital over the last year…. Maddie at one time
begged us to leave Emma at the hospital and just come home and be normal for
the night. We knew at that very moment. No matter what the sacrifice had to be,
Maddie needed us too. It was so hard to except that we couldn’t be by Emma’s
side 24/7… and we slowly started with taking turns and slowly transitioned. The
difference it made in Maddie in a matter of a few days she had her spark back.
I can’t imagine what was going on in her little mind. There were days in the
beginning that she really had no idea what was going on, we told her. But the
comprehension just wasn’t quite there yet. Now, she talks to the doctors about
Emma’s sats and her heart rate and how its funny when people get scared because
her ‘box is beeping’ and they just don’t know Emma she says. ….Even right now all the things that are going on with the flooding… The adults are anxious and nervous of the unknown. The children are listening to every phone conversation, reading things online, and chatting with their friends at school that “My Mom said this will happen…. My Dad said this is going to happen…. My Uncle works for the city and he said…. “ and the list goes on and on. You are not the only one who is going through this journey. As parents, if you are nervous or anxious about things your actions affect your children and they will react to your emotions. Take this into considerations as the anxiety sets in with whatever situation it may be, sickness in the family… emergency situations…. Disaster.. etc.
Closing with Some Scripture:
·
“The Lord
sustains the humble but casts the wicked down.” Psalm 147:6
·
“Sons are
a heritage form the Lord, children are a reward from him.” Psalm 127: 3-5
·
“Her children arise and call her blessed.”
Proverbs 31:28
·
“By wisdom a house is built, and through
understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with
rare and beautiful treasures.” Proverbs
24:3
·
“And Jesus grew in his wisdom and stature, and
in favor with God and men.” Luke 2:52
·
“Train a child in the way he should go, and when
he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6
·
“The same Lord is Lord of all.” Romans 10:12
·
“Be devoted to one another in brotherly
love.” Romans 12:10
·
“Honor your father and your mother.” Exodus
20:12
·
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and
with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give
to you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children.” Deuteronomy 6: 5-6
·
“Remember your Creator in the days of your
youth, before the days of trouble come.”
Ecclesiastes 12:1
