Emerging Emotions...

Different people define emotions in different ways. Some make a distinction between emotions and feelings saying that a feeling is the response part of the emotion and that an emotion includes the situation or experience, the interpretation, the perception, and the response or feeling related to the experience of a particular situation.

We as christian women, mothers, leaders in the community, mentors, and/or whatever else you may be to others around you... we need to control our emotions. Your emotions can make or break any situation.Controlling your emotions doesn't mean ignoring them. It means you recognize them and act on them when appropriate, not randomly and uncontrollably whenever you feel like it. Take control of your life by taking control of your emotions.

(*These are ways I have found flaws in myself.. These are the things I need to work on with my emotions... hopefully at least one person can relate to these key points in controlling their emotions... NOTE TO SELF: Pointing out the negative characteristics about yourself is not an easy task.)

Knowing your emotions.. There are a million different ways you can feel, however, human emotions have been classified into a few basics that everyone can recognize: joy, acceptance, FEAR, surprise, disgust, sadness, ANGER, and anticipation.

I need to work on accepting and recognizing that emotions don't just appear mysteriously out of nowhere. Many times, we're at the mercy of our emotions on a subconscious level. By recognizing your emotions on a conscious level, you're better able to control them.

Stop and analyze what you were thinking about, until you find out what is causing that emotion. Don't be so quick to act-- that is when we hurt the ones we love.

Ask yourself, "What is another way to look at the situation that is more rational and more balanced than the way I was looking at it before?"  (This helps me so much!!) Explore the different possibilities! If nothing else, thinking about other possible interpretations will alert you to many different scenarios, and the difficulty of jumping to conclusions.

Something we never think to do is consider your options. Now that you know what emotion you're dealing with, think of at least two different ways to respond. Your emotions control you when you assume there's only ONE way to react, but you have to recognize you ALWAYS have a choice!

Personally, I not only need to recognize that I have a choice... but I then need to make a choice. When deciding what to do, it's important to make sure it's a conscious choice, not a reaction to another, competing emotion.
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Browsing through my Bible, I stumbled across scripture that to me says I need to see myself as a Princess !! ------

Okay, so it doesn't exactly say that but Isaiah 28:5 does say "In that day the Lord Almighty will be a glorious crown, a beautiful wreath for the remnant of his people."

That to me tells me beyond all the discouragement in life... God is going to give me that crown. He is the only one who's opinion matters. Why am I trying to please all the people who drag me down? When if I please God he's going to give me that beautiful crown.... I would much rather be a Princess of God then a "princess" in today's society!

We can all empathize with the feeling of being trapped in depressing or destructive situations. Perhaps you work with people who see nothing wrong with dishonesty, and you're waging what feels like a losing battle for the truth. Maybe your husband is very discouraging. To those hoping in the darkness, God promises to adorn us with his glory, to encircle our bowed and tired heads with this magnificent crown: which represents his presence. God has a special place in his heart for the mistreated. In reality, we've all been beaten down by the world at one time or another. When you feel discouraged, anxious, or uncomfortable-- picture God's presence, like a beautiful crown, resting on you,... strengthening you! (That is how I interpreted that .... maybe I just want to be a princess.. )


"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace." -- Ephesians 1:7-8

Women today are often burdened by guilt. We are overwhelmed with the "should of's". Some women feel guilty if they work and guilty if they don't work. We feel guilty if we aren't spending enough time with our husbands, children, friends, or other family. A lot of times I feel guilty for not taking time for myself and for God. Whether this guilt we feel is fiction or reality..  whether we are just feeling the pressure of social expectations or we have really wronged God, or others, either intentionally or unintentionally, we have hope! Jesus declared from the cross that those who follow him are forgiven, right?... Even for unintentional sins! On the cross Jesus Christ took our place and bore all our despair and guilt as if it were his own. Our Savior has dealt with our guilt once for all. What is there left for us to bear?...Nothing.  LET GO OF THE GUILT! Right here, Right Now! The 'guilt' is gone! Accept that you are who you are... you are an amazing beautiful woman whom God created for a purpose! That purpose was not to degrade yourself to no end. Quit dwelling on the negativity in your life and find your purpose. God put every one of us on this Earth for a reason. You reason may not be to be a multi-million dollar super model... however, God has a plan and a purpose for us all and that is far greater than being looked at as a super star in society's eyes. Who are you? Find who you are? Can't see past the guilt in your life..... Drop it! It is gone from this minute on do NOT allow it to carry on!

My way of letting go of guilt was/is finding joy in all the things I used to find guilt in. Once again, going back to finding the positive in every negative situation. Galatians 5:22-23 says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law." With that being said... Joy--true joy-- originates from God and from living in close connection with God, not from  our immediate situations or emotional states. If you only go to God in times of need, shame on you! God wants us to know joy NOW! Not tomorrow, or the next day, or even next month. You don't wait for when you are healed, not when sorrow has passed, not when we've became successful, not when children or spouse's change, not when we've lost ten pounds, not when you have paid off your debt, received a promotion or brought a bigger home, but NOW----this very day! You are thinking, not today... I didn't do anything today... today wasn't a successful day.. why today? .... I'm not proud of today!... Lasting joy does not reside in God's blessings, God's favors, God's gifts or God's people--- but in God himself! Take time this day to seek the Lord and draw upon him to find your joy---- in return you will find strength in yourself!

Last but not least... Something I struggle with every second of the day. I thank society for this strain. In reality, I can change it. I have control of this so why not remove the anxiety and replace it with new-found confidence. I stumbled across several references to scripture before I decided, Psalm 71:5-6 hit the spot,... "For you have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth. From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother's womb. I will ever praise you." Amen? ... When we feel weak in the knees and lack confidence, we are most open to relying on God. The Bible gives us declaration after declaration of God's strength in the face of our limited abilities: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength"(Philippians 4:13). "Nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37). "Nothing is too hard for [the Lord]" (Jeremiah 32:17). "In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us" (Romans 8:37). "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9). (FORGIVE ME FOR THE OVERWHELMING REFERENCE TO SCRIPTURE...) My point here is simple, nothing silences the voice of timidity as powerfully as the voice of Scripture.

So if you find yourself in a new situation this week, make sure you place your lack of confidence in the limitless God.

Ladies, every man will tell you... there is nothing more sexy than a confident woman! Find the confidence you need. Hold your head high... you deserve to be recognized for the things you hide. I am eager to see you grow... as women it is hard for us to be confident... Men, however, seem to have it down... confidence is sometimes widely mistaken for a appealing trait when sometime it can be annoying... if taken to far.
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In addition to the post this week, I also took the time to look up some scripture for certain emotions.. Typing it all out would have lost your interest... So here they are, if you have the time and want to look them up I strongly encourage it... I found myself scratching my head saying "Hmmmmm..." a lot.

Anger: James 1:19-20, Psalm 4:4, Proverbs 14:16-17, Ephesians 4:26-27

Anxiety: Philippians 4:6, Psalm 94:18-19, Isaiah 45:5-7, Matthew 6:28-34

Fear: John 14:27, Psalm 27:1,14, Matthew 10:29-31, John 14:27

Guilt: Ephesians 1:7-8, Isaiah 1:18, Hebrews 10:22-23

Joy and Happiness: Philippians 4:4, Psalm 100:1-2, Habakkuk 3:17-18

Worry: Psalm 55:22, Nahum 1:7, Matthew 6:25-34, John 14:1, 27
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Make Your Marriage God's Masterpiece..

“Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.” –Psalm 127:1

Picture this, for years you have been planning your dream home! When you are about to begin the construction process, the most famous builder in the world approaches you and offers to build the house for you. Wouldn’t it be utterly foolish to reject his offer and instead try building it on your own? In that same way--- God is the master builder of the family! Let him show you how to build a marriage and family that will exceed your most cherished expectations and dreams. Follow his direction and his guidelines…. Trust in him to show you how to build something that will last!

As I have mentioned before… we need a strong foundation. You need a stable personal foundation to have a stable foundation with another individual to make a marriage work. Correct? Sure, it may work “as is” for a while... but what happens when one of those storms come through like we discussed. . . You are going to crumble because you have not spiritually prepared for the storm.

In marriage we face many obstacles. I have selected 12 key points I want to touch on that I feel are all of importance.

In Genesis 2:24 we read, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and become united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” This of course is God’s Ideal… these days- does it hardly ever happen that way, not so much... but how inspiring and holy would scripture be if it read, “Thou shall be pregnant at age 15, experience extreme confusion on which one night stand was the other responsible party, and thou parents shall provide for unborn child until child/”said parent” is of legal age.” Right? 

For one to share the bond of husband and wife a connection must be made. Somehow, for whatever reason the couple is in love. Correct? Ephesians 5:1-2 tells us to “be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” So in Peter 4:8 we read that “Love covers over a multitude of sins”, right? In John 13:34-35 tell us to love one another- “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

As a husband, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife her husband.” –Ephesians 5:33. Since we are focusing on the ladies I will just simply leave some references to scripture for you to pass on if you would like…. Genesis 2:24, Proverbs 5:18, & Ephesians 5:25.

Here we go ladies, Proverbs 31:10-12 will make you smile; “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” -----Ahhhhh… Where would these men be without us?

Simplifying the overall outlook of marriage, one of two things can happen- one would be a positive outcome and one would be more of a negative outcome (in my opinion).

POSITIVE:            Obviously if you are content in your marriage, work as a team when it comes to decision making, develop good communication, and have a strong bond,… you will have success. In Hebrews 13:5 we read, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.” Too many times we confuse what we want with what we need and this causes conflict between spouses. Whether it be an argument over finances igniting or a lack of communication—you will in return have to face that one did wrong and they may not see it as ‘wrong’ but maybe as a ‘reward’. Marriage is a partnership you need to be able to agree when necessary as well as agree to disagree at time. Decision making needs to be a strong point in your marriage. We need to listen to advice, seek the counsel of many advisors, and obtain guidance. As we read in Psalm 25:4-5, “Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me. Be open to discussion, you don’t always have to have the last word. As women, this is something we struggle with. We sometime tend to think we have to have the final say and it sometimes leads to more problems. (Just food for thought..)

Picture this, your laying a new sidewalk in front of your home. This sidewalk will not take a lot of concrete therefore you choose to purchase the ready-mix bags of concrete. All you will have to do is add water and stir until ready to pour. Easy enough, right? Well a marriage without good communication is like trying to complete your sidewalk without any water…. POOF! Many times as husband and wife, our words get the best of us. Haven’t we all had those moments where we have said something and once we cool down we realize we didn’t mean that at all? …. Guess what? Sometimes, one you say those things they are there and they leave a scar. “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” (Proverbs 16:24) So, we need to be a little more careful of how quick we are to speak in anger. Guard your words, choose them carefully for they can make or break a very special bridge in your marriage. We need to learn to speak more graciously, yet still speak the truth in love.

As I mentioned before, without the proper foundation—it is a lot harder to succeed in any situation. If you have not established that strong foundation in your marriage, success is a long shot and you probably don’t have the club to make the shot! As we all hate to face it, the divorce rate is climbing. I don’t at all think people should live with one another when they are not truly happy. Does this mean throw marriage around like nothing and get divorced? Absolutely not! There are so many couples who get divorced without even trying… If that is the case you didn’t deserve to get married in the first place. It sickens me how it’s “just a piece of paper” to some people. I am sorry, but my marriage is far more than a “piece of paper”… we aren’t talking about our English homework here! Maddie always says, “Mommy, the bible says God made a very special woman for every man out there and there is only one!” Still haven’t found those exact words … but I did see that 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 says, “A woman must not separate from her husband. If she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.” Do I think it is wrong that people get divorced? Absolutely not! Do I think many people rush into marriage before they know whether or not they truly love each other? 100 % yes! I know several people who have divorced and remarried and live completely happy lives... my own opinion of this is that for whatever reason they didn’t marry the right person the first time. For whatever reason that foundation wasn’t established, there was not contentment, no communication, and probably a “my way or the highway” method of decision making. And to this I say that some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. By failing with the first marriage, many people be sure to do things right the second time. We can’t all be perfect, as I said in the beginning we are going to make a positive out of ‘mistakes’ we have made and we will grow from them, as will others.

There are many reasons for divorce. In Proverbs 6:32 it says that a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself.  SO true! Who wants to be with a cheater? They are damaged goods, right? (More scripture relating to adultery: Exodus 20:14, 2 Samuel 11, & Matthew 5:27-28) Jealousy is something some struggle with; I know I have struggled with this in my own marriage. We are women- for whatever reason there will always be someone out there skinnier, funnier, and prettier. We have to face it and move on! However, so many people let jealousy get the best of them when in fact, there was nothing to be jealous of in the first place… If you establish a good foundation in your marriage- even Baywatch Barbie won’t be able to bring you down. You will be dancing around in your kitchen, cooking supper singing, “My baby loves me just the way that I am!!!” at the top of your lungs…. Ohhhhhhkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaay… maybe not- but how many of you just pictured yourself or even me dancing around the kitchen like that. (It was a good laugh anyways… we all need those every once in a while!) Proverbs 27:4 is powerful it reads “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming but who can stand before jealousy?”---------

As awkward as this is... I have to break out the pillow talk---- Trying to find appropriate references to start me off has me stumped. God has designed your sexuality to be like a plant that only grows in the right greenhouse. That greenhouse is marriage! God wants you to enjoy being caressed by your husband, to long for his arms wrapped around you and to find comfort, joy and strength in your sexual relationship! If you are just enduring sex instead of enjoying it--- then you need to talk to your husband! This is where some carry the past like a heavy burden. . . Ask yourself: Is there an underlying problem in your marriage that is interfering? Are unresolved problems from your past choking out your pleasure? (Is it fair that your husband is paying for things he has no control over?) Are there things that your husband or you could do differently in the bedroom? ---- Try talking openly about your sex life, it helps a lot! Think back to when you first got together, find that spark again and reignite it.

Your marriage should be a commitment for life! Whatever happened to “’til death do us part,” – it used to be that when couples pledged themselves in marriage they meant it. Sadly, many Christian couples today enter into marriage thinking they can always get out and try again if this marriage doesn’t work. Yet God designed marriage as a permanent union of two people into one for his glory---not a temporary alliance until something goes wrong or one of the people find a better option! ------ (This topic frustrates me and I could go on for hours about how disappointed I am in today’s society!!!!!!!) Is it really too much to ask for, really? Why do people not take marriage seriously? God does!

Closing this post—I could have taken several different approaches but I want to take a look at our daily choices in your marriage. Perhaps your marriage isn’t delivering the fairy-tale life you’d dreamed of. Your prince devotes all his time and energy to work, sports, the computer, the car, the yard, the cell phone, HUNTING----anything but you. He’s more like a roommate than the soul mate you had hoped for. And you’re starting to wonder if it’s worth staying or if you should just give up. NEWS FLASH: Real life isn’t a fairy tale and real life is not that fuzzy feeling in your tummy they describe in movies—it’s a choice God calls you to make each moment of each day.

My advice to you is to CHOOSE to love your husband with the same unconditional love God continually shows you!

For more scripture, refer to Ephesians 5:21-32- really explains the duty of husband and wife.  I also found 1 Peter 3:1-8 to be great advice on marriage!!!!!!