Faith in a Family's Changes..

                 This week we are going to discuss our family. Focusing mostly on acceptance, transformations, security and release within your immediate family.

 

While hunting for scripture I wanted to focus on this week, Sarah and Abraham caught my attention. Genesis 23:1-2; Genesis 25:1 tells us that “Sarah lived to be a hundred and twenty seven years old. She died at Kiriath Arba….. Abraham took another wife, whose name was Keturah.” Today, remarriage is such a common reality. But a second marriage brings added complications, especially when children are involved. Abraham remarried after Sarah died, and he and Keturah had six children together. In Abraham’s time, family relationships and inheritances were more strictly defined by culture, which eliminated some of the uncertainly and insecurity. But it didn’t alter the fact that it was difficult adjusting to major changes. And the same is true today. Kids in particular can be confused by remarriage and may want back to their old lives. We are called to accept each person in a blended family---- but it takes hard work, love and forgiveness.

My personal feelings on this are very widely spread, I do not believe in people staying together because it is for the children. I am also not a naive woman, I know that people change.. husbands and wives fall out of love.. it’s reality, we as woman must accept it. I don’t know how I would feel if Kory and I separated and he remarried.. It almost brings me to tears just typing it. I honestly believe God brought us together for many reasons and that we are meant to spend eternity as one. I know that I love Kory so much I would always want him to be happy. Being the selfless person that I am, I would never remarry. It’s a decision I made when I married Kory. I feel he is only person I was meant to marry and my feelings on that are very supported and I know that will never change. (Another {completely unrelated} example of these type of decisions that I have made, I would never want to be cremated…just as an example, it is what it is – won’t ever change.)  Back on topic, if we ever separated-- I would want Kory to go on and live a happy life.. if that means moving on and remarrying, so be it. I know it would be the hardest thing I ever would have to do, seeing him love another woman like he is supposed to love me, but again, I would always want him to be happy. I want our girls to know the true meaning of “happily ever after”. Marriage is hard work and it takes the love of two people to make it work. Sometimes people say, you shouldn’t have to “work” for your love/marriage –it should “just happen”.. I always chuckle.. those people 9 times out of 10—aren’t married and never have been!

“Joseph said to his brothers, ‘Come close to me.’ When they had done so, he said, ‘I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold in Egypt!” Genesis 45:4

It’s a fact, no family is perfect. But what exactly makes a home dysfunctional? A dysfunction is simply something that ceases to function correctly, right? When families stop protecting, loving and sharing with each other, they’ve lost their original function. Family members turn against each other, and a mountain of bitterness forms. The good news is that this process is reversible. Joseph’s family was a model of dysfunction, but after many years God transformed each member’s heart.

                           “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.” Psalm 62:5

Growing up, most of us found security in our parents. It didn’t matter what happened as long as they hugged us and told us everything would be fine. As we got older, we realized our parents would fix every problem, but we still felt more secure knowing they were there. It hurts to think about living without them, let alone actually doing it. It’s one hard reality of these decades of life. Whenever you experience that loss, let it remind you to find security in God. He’s the only refuse you can count on in an ever-changing world!!!!!!

                    “Hatred stirs up dissension, but loves covers over all wrongs.” Proverbs 10:13

Sometimes, letting go is easier said than done! No matter how great your in-laws are, you’ll likely have conflict at some point. You may disagree where you spend holidays, how you discipline your child or even what church to attend. You may sometimes feel like the daughter in-law your in-laws wish they never had or maybe the opposite (as is in my case), I am confident that my in-laws are very blessed to have me as their daughter-in-law. However, some woman I know hate being in the same room with their “monster-in-law”. How you respond in certain situations will either bring you closer as a family or drive your further apart. When conflicts arise, ask yourself “Is it really worth the battle?” Learn to let go. For some, letting go is the hardest thing to ask them to do. In letting go, it doesn’t stop there.. refuse to dwell on it. Choose to not even see it anymore because you know that God’s love covers over your own wrongs.